It's been awhile

Wow...I haven't written in the longest time. A lot has been going on though. I am legally separated and Alex and I are getting along great! We're just not good together and we both just want what's best for Rylie. Life still isn't completely easy, but it sure is getting better. I'm looking into colleges now, and have decided to go to Kaplan to become a Dental Assistant. They make decent money and the program is only 9 months. I just need to do something to better support Ry and myself.

Speaking of my angel, she is now 8 months. I cannot believe it. Time just goes by so fast, it feels like yesterday I was holding her in my arms in the delivery room...aww! She is so big. It seems like she learns something new everyday. I think crawling is just around the corner and now she's been trying to pull herself up from sitting (cutest thing ever). And TEETH! We've got 2 so far on the bottom.

Tomorrow we leave for Fresno till Thursday, we have a funeral to go to, obviously not something to look forward to. So sad. I should probably get packing!

Lacy Nicole

A New Lacy...

I don't even know how to start off this blog. Let's just say that something good has DEFINITELY come out of all this B.S. I have been dealing with this last month. I am no longer the little Lacy who put up with any and everything that came my way, got stepped on, taken advantage of and so on (I'm pretty sure you get the point). I am stronger and I have decided to live my life to the fullest. I have made the decision to go back to school to become a Dental Assistant (and then go on to become a hygienist) to ensure my daughter has the life she deserves and the life I want to live. I am also going to take care of this baby weight problem, now I know right now isn't the best time for diets and exercise with the holidays and such, but seriously if I can do it now, I can do it anytime. I have finally come to the realization that if I have such a problem with it, why don't I just do something about it? So I gotta knock off this lazy shit and get my act together. MOTIVATION BABY! And that motivation is to get back out there and look damn good haha. I laugh, but I am so serious.

My standards are set extremely high now and I don't think I deserve anything but the best, and that doesn't just mean in relationships, it's life in general. People are always saying "Life is what you make it" so I am going to make it amazing. I know I have made TOO many mistakes in my short life, but it's never too soon to change. Plus I have someone else who counts on me, and she is SO worth it!

Well I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving, I know I will!

Lacy Nicole

She's almost 6 months...

Where does the time go?! She has hit SO many milestones in the past month it just amazes me. She's been sitting up, rolling over, eating rice cereal and just today she started solids (yay!). She had a doctor appointment this morning and she's up to 16.5 lbs and is 25 3/4 inches long. Her pediatrician said she's going to be a tall girl because of her long legs.

I fall even more in love with her everyday. She has definitely helped me to be a better person and because of her I am enrolling in school to give her a better life. I want to be able to give her everything she could ever need, take her out places and on vacations and not have to worry about not having enough money. She deserves a good life!

We are still in CA and I am SO thankful for my mom and sister. I don't know what I would do without their help. Aww it is so nice not having to worry about daycare! Alright well I'm off to bed!

Lacy

California...H O M E

I've been in Ca for about 2 weeks now, and I have had the best time. Honestly I don't want to go back to NC. I know that is horrible to say, but NC just isn't home AT ALL. Even with Alex is there. I'm not going to get into my feelings on my marriage because this site isn't for that, so yeah....

Our trip to Fresno was BUSY! I tried to see everyone I could, but it is so hard when I don't have a car. I LOVED seeing my friends and their new babies. It's nice to have friends who know what I'm going through and are going through it at exactly the same time.

Disneyland was yesterday and I was amazed that we had already gone on everything we wanted to go on by noon. There were NO lines! The longest we waited was 25 mins and that was for Space Mountain, which I HIGHLY recommend, although it did make me a little sick (totally worth it haha). We were all done by about 3, ahh now I wanna go back!

I'm trying to stay here until the 6th because Alex won't even be home since he's in the field training for deployment. I'll contact the airline today and see what I can do.

Now I'm off to take a relaxing bath...I NEVER wanna leave!

Lace

So sad...

Last Friday Alex and I gave our Dog, Achilles to another family. We decided to make the choice because we felt it wasn't fair to him to live in such a small apartment with no room to run around to burn off energy. It hurt so bad when he didn't want to get into his new owner's car. I cried the whole night before, even though my dog wasn't the best dog, he was mine and I loved him like another child. I miss him like crazy and am constantly second guessing the choice I made to give him away. Just writing this down right now is bringing tears to my eyes. He loved us and trusted us and I feel like he thinks we abandoned him. I told his new owner that if things don't work out with him and he wants to get rid of him to give him back to us. If that happens then I am never going without him again. What did I do? He loved Rylie, he really did. OMG I never thought it'd hurt this much. I miss him!! I can't even post a pic of him because it hurts to look at them ahhh!!

2 more days till Cali, I know it'll keep my mind off of this. Oh God I hope so...

This time next week...

...Ry and I will be in CA! I can't believe how fast time has flew. I am in desperate need of this vacation. I've been busy getting everything ready for our 19 day trip. Making lists of things Miss Rylie will need for my mom, washing clothes, stocking up on formula and figuring out what I absolutely must take with us for our plane ride (7 hours altogether).

We will be going to Fresno, but only for a weekend because my cousin Melanie is having her bridal shower, which also happens to be on the day of her 22nd birthday. I am excited because I can pretty much see most of my family in one stop, PERFECT! I can't even begin to explain how excited I am to introduce Ry to everyone. Mainly my dad and sisters because Ry is my dad's first grandchild and my sisters first niece! I don't think it gets anymore exciting than that.

I will be celebrating my 23rd birthday during this vacation and my wonderful little sister has decided to take me to Disneyland! She is amazing, she knows how much I LOVE that place. It was all her idea, I can't wait to go. This trip is going to be great I just know it! Well it's down to 6 days and counting yay!

4 months today!

My little princess is officially 4 months as of today! It's so exciting and sad at the same time. She's gotten so big and before I know it she'll be one.

I never realized how lucky I really am to have such a happy and HEALTHY baby. My friend had her baby on Wednesday and she got to come home Friday, BUT her baby girl had to stay in the NICU because of breathing complications. That would KILL me, I could never imagine NOT leaving the hospital with my baby. It'd be incredibly hard and so sad.
I just thank God everyday for being blessed with Rylie, my healthy little girl!

The countdown for CA is now down to 17 days ahh! A little over 2 weeks. I still can't believe we're really going. My parents (and sisters...ok so everyone pretty much) are so excited to see Rylie, all for the first time, with the exception of my mom. She hasn't seen Ry since she was 9 days old. I also found out that my dad is also taking the day we get there off of work yay!!! I already have an outfit planned for when we land in SD, because we all know my little lady has to look ADORABLE (even though she is, regardless of what she's wearing haha).

Ahhh SO EXCITED!!!!

Lacy