Life...MINE

So it finally happened, Rylie turned 1 as of 10:27am (Eastern time) yesterday. We took her to Chuck E. Cheese and I honestly don't think I have ever seen her as happy as I did there. We put her on all the rides for little kids and she was smiling ear to ear the whole time. It was the cutest thing I have ever seen. Her party is tomorrow and we have family coming down from Fresno. I had to go with another theme, instead of the ladybug one I wanted. Who knew finding ladybug stuff for parties was going to be so hard? I wasn't about to pay almost $30 on shipping for plates and napkins that only cost $5.00 together, so we decided to find something else. The new theme is called One-derful, it's pretty cute, very girly just like Ryles!

I have been seeing a therapist once a week since February, and I have to say I am in a much better place than I was when I first started. She's got me thinking about what I really want in life, including new relationships. She had me create list of all the qualities I want in a man and I have to stick with it. No more settling, I know I deserve something great and if that takes 10 years, so be it. Like I've said many times before, I'm ok with being a single parent....for now(haha). Anyways back to my list, I had to think long and hard about what I put on there, trying not to forget important things. Here's the list so far...

1. Loves me for me
2. Loves Rylie as his own
3. Respects me
4. Financially stable
5. Financially smart (meaning he doesn't spend frivolously)
6. Clean
7. Good sense of style (but not gay looking)
8. Smart
9. Good job (or in college)
10. Isn't selfish
11. Funny
12. Romantic
13. Has a good family background
14. Likes to travels
15. Gets along with my family (and my family loves him)

That's all I have so far. It's hard to think of EVERTHING you want in a person. You're always told not to set the bar too high, but why not? Isn't that why I'm here, because I DIDN'T set the bar high enough? Who cares if it takes a long time to find "Mr. Right", you shouldn't just say "Well he's the best I'm going to find, and I don't have my whole life to wait". Screw that business. Yes, my bar is that high and yes, I will wait as long as it takes! What's the rush? I need to focus on my daughter and my education, because along with Ry, I am number one in my life.


Lacy

It's almost been a year

Time truly does fly when you have a baby. This last year has been so full of joy and pain. When Rylie arrived I never knew you could love such a little person so much. The moment I laid eyes on her I started crying because I was overwhelmed with so many thoughts, would I be a good mom? Would I know what to do? and I also cried because a part of me I never knew was missing came into my life and completed me. 


Being a mom has taught me a lot, especially being a single mom and I'm 100% ok with it. I love that I can take care of my daughter all by myself, with the occasional help from my wonderful family. Without my family I would have nothing, and I appreciate them now than ever. 


I know having Rylie has changed me for the better. I rarely go out and drink (although sometimes I need it), I put her before myself, I am starting school to give her a good life and I finally have my priorities straightened out. Never did I ever think I would be where I am now, single with a baby. I admit it's not the path I would have chosen for myself, but it is definitely one I do not regret. Now that I am all situated at home, I feel like I've been given another chance. I'm still young and there's so much I can still do, having Rylie doesn't restrict me in anyway. She makes me want to be a better person, to not settle for anything less than what I deserve. I can now breathe and it feels really good. 


A much happier Lacy :)